Two things I witnessed today that make me ask WTF am I living in Florida?

PetSmart: watched a kid reach his arm into a fish tank, I’m guessing to steal a fish. When he noticed me, he hopped off the counter, looking extremely guilty. A few moments earlier, a clerk asked me if I needed help. She needed to keep an eye on the little fish thief.

Wal-Mart: a father clad in faded wifebeater and acid washed jeans says, “Fuck this, I’ma take one of ’em out of the package and put it in my g’damn pocket!” I think he was referring to Nerf darts. His baby momma pushing both his kids in the back of the trolley dutifully following behind. Class.

Maybe it’s time I motored West.